The Four Moms That Every Mom Needs
We all need other moms in our lives. In fact, we need lots of them. And we need lots of different types of moms too. God created us for community, and Mama, I need it! You need it. I’ve brainstormed through the Moms I have on my “team” and I am SO grateful for each and every one.
The Mom on the Other Side:
I’ve told you before about how much I struggled as a new mom to find my tribe and my identity. It was a tough time for me. One thing that helped me tremendously along the journey was attending a gathering called MOMS (Mothers Of Many Seasons) at my old church. I loved that I got to meet other new moms, and everyone did such a great job of lowering the bar of expectation.
At the second meeting that I ever attended my now dear friend Melody spoke. She shared a lot of parenting wisdom that I had never heard before, but desperately needed. She kept it all focused on Christ and off herself. She gave us permission to be imperfect and told us how important our job was at the same time. Her nuggets of truth were so powerful for me!
I had been desperately looking for a mentor. Someone who was in a different life stage and could encourage me in both my parenting and my walk with Christ. God told me that SHE was the girl. I boldly went home, found her on Facebook, and messaged her. I told her how much her talk had meant to me and then flat out told her I was looking for a mentor and would she be wiling to get together sometime? I held my breath while questioning my crazy. She didn’t even KNOW me. BUT. She messaged back that she would be honored, and we set up a time to meet at Panera for coffee. That coffee date turned into many and I cannot tell you how many hundreds of times we have walked the trails at a local park in our city.
Melody is a wise friend. She breathes encouragement into me, and she tells me it’s ok to feel the way I do. I grew up in family that often says things like “you shouldn’t feel that way”, so her acceptance has always been so encouraging to me.
I have other Melodies too! Lots of them! I love having friends that are somewhere between my Mom’s age and mine. I’ve got Karen and Michelle and Sherry and Donna and Jena and more who I can call on when life gets sticky.
The Mom A Step Ahead:
I love my mom friends of middle and high schoolers. They give me a glimpse of what’s to come. They model for me parenting and discipline and keep me a little better prepared for what’s coming. I know when the hard stuff of tweens and teens begins that they will be there for me. They update me on all the things I didn’t know I didn’t know.
I love to try to help them too. I’m no expert, but I can ask questions, support them in their decisions, and cheer them on. I feel like this stage can be really hard for moms. There aren’t as many play dates and the parenting stuff isn’t quite so cute or social media worthy anymore. It’s a tough season. I’m grateful for Michelle, Veronica, Debbie, Sara, Gena, Kim, Jane and so many more who allow me to pray for them and pray for me and give me advice for right now. They have moved on, but they remember!
The Mom Who Shares Your Season:
Every mom needs some mom friends who are in the same stage and dealing with the same challenges. These are the moms that we can message about the most bizarre thing and ask, “does your kid do this?” or “Is this normal?”. These are our comrades.
I’ve met my gals through play dates and music classes and school and church and so much more. We might not have a lot of advice to give out, but we sure can listen and encourage and give knowing glances and pitch in and cheer. This group can sometimes change with the times as kids’ activities change, but that’s ok. Relish in the season. A shout out to Jessica, Taryn, Becky, Rachel, Carolina, Casey, Mary, Teresa and more. Thanks for being there!
The Mom Who Needs YOU:
It hasn’t been so long ago that I had my first and second babies, that I forget how wild it is. Everything changes. Everything. Nothing is about you anymore. Every single relationship in your life changes, especially those with your husband, in-laws, parents and friends. Everything. New mamas need so much encouragement. My favorite thing to tell brand new moms is “it’s ok to not love it all the time”.
As a new mom, I felt like I was supposed to love every moment. Yes, it goes fast, but I do not miss waking up 7 times per night to feed my newborn. I don’t miss never having my hands free. I don’t miss trying to figure out how to love my husband and my baby at the same time. I’m on the other side of new babies and so I do my best to love on and encourage my new mom friends. It’s now my job to lower the bar for them. I am an open book and I’m more than happy to share about how hard marriage plus a new baby was and how we realigned our priorities. God uses it all to grow us and we can use what we’ve learned to inspire others.
Maybe the mom who needs you isn’t brand new. Maybe instead, she is beginning to walk through a season of challenge that you’ve already walked? Be that Mom!
Besure to give a shout out to your Mom friends today. It feels good to be appreciated and words mean a lot to a mom who might not hear it from anyone else. Tell her how awesome she is and how much she inspires you. Notice something she does right. It will make her smile!